Trauma-Informed Relationship & Communication Coaching

• Recognizing unhealthy relationship patterns

• Building confidence & healthy relationships after relational harm

• Communication skill-building (personal or professional)

• Boundary setting

• Preparing for difficult conversations

• Making sense of confusing dynamics

• Strengthening relational awareness

• Clarifying next steps in work, advocacy, or leadership

• Religious Trauma / Spiritual Abuse

If the quality of our relationships shapes the quality of our lives, then learning to navigate them well matters. That’s the work.

People often describe it as calm, steady, and thoughtful.

We:

• Brainstorm.

• Untangle confusing situations.

• Name patterns.

• Practice new language & skills.

• Build boundaries.

• Strengthen self-trust.

There’s structure but also warmth. I draw on years of teaching, tutoring, mentoring, advocacy work, and a lot of reading and research in relational communication. I aim for depth and insight without overwhelm. It’s collaborative, compassionate, supportive, encouraging, informational, validating, and challenging in a good way.

Coaching may be a good fit if you:

• Are not in immediate crisis

• Are not seeking mental health treatment

• Want space to think clearly and move intentionally

• Are ready to engage actively in reflection and skill-building

Coaching is not appropriate if you:

• Are experiencing active abuse and need immediate safety planning

• Are in acute mental health crisis

• Need diagnosis or treatment for a mental health condition

If that’s the case, therapy or crisis services are the right first step. And I’m always happy to help you think through referrals.

If you’re unsure whether coaching is the right fit for you or your situation, I’m happy to discuss that with you during a free discovery consultation.

The biggest difference is role and scope. According to The Academy of Modern Applied Psychology:

“Coaching and helping work focus on moving forward—clarifying goals, building capability, increasing self-awareness, improving relationships, and supporting decision-making. Therapy focuses on healing—addressing mental health conditions, processing trauma, treating disorders, and providing clinical care.”

I agree with that distinction.

Therapy is licensed healthcare. Therapists assess, diagnose, and treat mental health conditions such as trauma, severe depression, anxiety disorders, and other clinical concerns.

Coaching is not mental health treatment. I do not diagnose, provide psychotherapy, or treat mental health disorders.

I am trained in trauma-informed practice, which means I prioritize safety, consent, empowerment, and awareness of how past harm can shape present behavior. Trauma-informed work is about how we support people, not about providing trauma therapy.

Coaching can still involve exploring past experiences. We might talk about attachment patterns, family-of-origin dynamics, or previous relationships — not to treat them clinically, but to understand how they influence current patterns, decisions, and goals.

Coaching is a space for clarity, skill-building, relational awareness, and aligned action when you are not in crisis and not seeking clinical treatment.

Much of my work focuses on relational health, communication patterns, boundaries, confidence, and understanding unhealthy relationship dynamics — especially on the continuum of relational harm, including domestic violence and coercive control.

My background as a researcher, professor, and advocate in these areas shapes the work. I operate within clear ethical boundaries and refer out when something requires clinical care. If I don’t think I’m the right fit, or if something is outside my scope, I will say so.

(You can learn more about my training and background on the About page.)

Some people book a single session to think through something specific. Others meet weekly, biweekly, or monthly for a season.

I don’t sell packages because I don’t want to reduce growth to a rigid timeline. We reassess as we go.

Individual coaching and consultation sessions are $150 per 60-minute session. This rate reflects my 20 years of academic expertise, trauma-informed research, and the dedicated time I spend preparing for our work together.

Accessibility & Relational Equity: I am deeply committed to the belief that trauma-informed support should not be a luxury. I reserve two ongoing spots in my practice for deeply discounted "Relational Equity" rates. These are prioritized for:

• Survivors of domestic violence or coercive control in transition.

• Students or community advocates on the front lines of change.

• Individuals facing significant financial hardship.

Alternative Paths to Support: If 1-on-1 coaching isn't the right fit for you right now, I offer other ways to access these tools:

• Affordable Group Coaching: Periodically, I host small-group sessions focused on specific topics like Reclaiming Your Voice or Navigating Conflict. These are high-impact, lower-cost ways to build skills in a community of peers.

• Free Educational Resources: I’m building a library of communication and relational science insights on social media and my blog to help you make sense of the mess for free. Follow Through the Fray on Instagram, Facebook, & LinkedIn.

Ready to find the right fit? If you are interested in an equity spot or a future group, please join the Priority Waitlist or mention it during a Free Clarity Call. Sign ups for both are on the Booking page.

Everything to get set up takes place on the Book a Session page.

1. You can schedule a free clarity call (a brief meet-and-greet) to see if we’re a good fit! This is not required but available to you if you want to check the vibes first.

2. Or, you can just jump in to scheduling your first appointment.

3. During booking, you’ll complete some short intake forms and sign the consent form.

4. Book and pay for your session.

5. You’ll get a calendar invite to our Google Meet session and receive reminders.

Returning clients can simply select the 'Returning Client' option when booking their next session.

Yes. Your story and information are held with the highest level of care. I use a HIPAA-compliant version of Google Meet and encrypted record-keeping to help ensure your information stays private. My background as a researcher also informs how I handle confidential information and records.

However, because I am a Certified Victim Advocate, there are three legal exceptions where I must break confidentiality to ensure safety:

1. If I suspect a child, elderly person, or vulnerable adult is being abused

2. If I have reason to believe you intend to harm yourself or someone else

3. If I am served a legally binding subpoena

Outside of those specific safety requirements, what happens in our sessions stays between us.

The short answer: No, but I can support your process in a different way.

Victim advocacy is life-saving work, and I strongly believe those services should be free, accessible, and local. While my background includes crisis advocacy, my role now has shifted toward coaching, education, and expert consultation.

How my work differs from a Victim Advocate:

• Local Advocates: Are the experts in helping you navigate local resources, reporting options, and legal or institutional processes in your specific area.

• My Coaching: Focuses on helping you understand complex relationship dynamics, strengthen your boundaries, and make sense of harmful relational experiences from a communication science perspective.

My advocacy certification is now used for systems-level change: I use my formal Victim Advocate Certification to train professionals in the legal system, HR, and government agencies on trauma-informed practice. I also consult with attorneys and serve as an expert witness to help juries understand the dynamics of abuse and gender-based violence.

If you need immediate, free, or formal advocacy support: Please connect with a local organization. The people doing this work have my deepest respect, and they are the best equipped to help you in a crisis.

Click here for resources for immediate, free help.

‍ Yes. Like many people who work in this field, my understanding of relationship dynamics comes from both professional and personal experience.

My academic and advocacy background informs my expertise. My lived experience informs my care.

It shapes how I listen, how I approach complexity, and how seriously I take the realities people face in difficult relationships. But lived experience alone is not the foundation of this work.

My coaching is grounded in years of research, teaching, and advocacy around communication, relational dynamics, and gender-based violence. That training helps me provide thoughtful guidance, recognize patterns, and maintain clear ethical boundaries.

Both perspectives matter. My academic and advocacy background informs my expertise. My lived experience informs the care I bring to the work.

Yes. Healthy relationships take many forms, and I work with people across a wide range of identities and relationship structures, including LGBTQ+, consensual non-monogamy (ENM), and kink.

I’m familiar with the relational dynamics that often arise in these spaces — including negotiated boundaries, explicit consent practices, relationship agreements, power dynamics, and the communication challenges that can come with navigating multiple relationships or nontraditional structures.

My work is grounded in respect for autonomy, consent, and the understanding that relationship challenges are not inherently caused by identity, orientation, or relationship structure. Many of the communication dynamics people navigate — boundaries, trust, conflict, repair, power, and intimacy — show up across all kinds of relationships.

At the same time, cultural stigma, discrimination, and misunderstanding can shape people’s experiences in important ways. I approach these conversations with respect and a commitment to creating a space where people can talk openly about their relationships without fear of judgment.

I also am trauma-informed (and experienced) in high-control religious trauma.

Yes. We don’t have to agree on everything to do meaningful work together.

At the same time, my work is grounded in certain core values: respect for human dignity, consent, and the recognition that systems like gender, power, and culture shape people’s experiences in relationships.

I also operate from what philosopher Karl Popper described as the “paradox of tolerance.” In short, a tolerant society cannot tolerate intolerance that harms others. Because of that, I won’t use coaching to help people justify or feel more comfortable with attitudes or behaviors that harm marginalized communities.

That said, coaching is often a space where people wrestle with complicated situations. Someone might be navigating a conflict between personal beliefs and a loved one’s identity, trying to understand a partner’s experiences with discrimination, or figuring out how to support a child who has come out as trans while working through their own questions and fears.

Those are real and often difficult conversations, and I approach them with empathy, depth, and honesty.

What matters most is a willingness to reflect, stay curious, and engage in good faith. My space will always prioritize the humanity and safety of marginalized communities.

“Trauma-informed” means recognizing that past harm can shape how people experience relationships, conflict, communication, and decision-making in the present.

In practice, this means prioritizing safety, consent, and collaboration in the coaching process. I don’t assume people’s reactions are irrational or “overreactions.” Instead, we work together to understand the patterns and experiences that may be influencing how situations feel and unfold.

Being trauma-informed also means paying attention to power dynamics, avoiding shame-based approaches, and respecting each person’s autonomy and pace when working through difficult topics.

At the same time, trauma-informed coaching is not the same as trauma therapy. I do not diagnose or treat trauma. Rather, trauma-informed practice describes how support is offered — with awareness, care, and respect for the ways past experiences can shape the present.

My understanding of trauma-informed practice is also shaped by years of research and advocacy work focused on domestic and gender-based violence.

Communication and relationships never exist outside of culture and power. The ways we experience conflict, safety, belonging, and our own voices are shaped by history, identity, and social systems. My work is informed by traditions such as standpoint theory and critical communication research, which take seriously how structures like racism, sexism, and other forms of inequality shape our lives.

I am mindful of my own positionality as a queer (pan), white, cisgender woman. I move through a world built on systems of power and privilege that I benefit from, and I recognize that my perspective is not universal.

I believe the labor of cultural education rests on me, not my clients. You will never be expected to "teach" me about systemic oppression or explain the nuances of your identity for the sake of my growth. I take it upon myself to stay educated, to engage in ongoing anti-racism and decolonial work, and to approach our sessions with a commitment to accountability. My goal is to hold a space where you can show up fully without having to translate your lived reality for me.

In coaching, this means:

• We can openly acknowledge how broader social forces—including racism, sexism, homophobia, and other forms of marginalization—intersect with the relational dynamics you’re navigating.

• I prioritize respect, consent, and human dignity at the center of every conversation.

• I recognize that "healthy communication" looks different across different cultures, and I don't impose a one-size-fits-all "standard."

My background studying gender-based violence and high-control systems also shapes how I think about power, inequality, and relational harm. I am here to listen, to learn, and to support you in the context of your world, not mine.

Most coaching sessions are 50-60 minutes and take place over secure video.

That length tends to give us enough time to dig into what’s going on without feeling rushed. Some clients schedule sessions weekly, while others meet less frequently depending on what they’re working through.

We can talk about what rhythm makes the most sense for you.

Typically, we:

• Check in

• Spend most of the session listening, exploring, and making sense of what’s happening

• Use the final portion to identify next steps, tools to try, or reflections to carry forward

Think of it as thoughtful experimentation. We try things. We reassess. We adapt.

Sometimes — if it would be helpful. But that’s entirely up to you.

Coaching often includes noticing patterns, reflecting on conversations, or trying a different communication approach in real life between sessions. Often the most useful “homework” is simply paying attention to how conversations and relationships unfold.

That might look like:

• Practicing language for a conversation

• Journaling prompts

• Trying a boundary in a low-stakes setting

• Noticing patterns during the week

• Suggested readings or resources

But there’s no gold star system and no unnecessary pressure. People learn and grow in different ways.

We can decide together what feels most helpful. The goal isn’t to give you assignments — it’s to support real-world insight and change.

No. When we meet, you are talking directly with me — a real human being — and our conversations remain private. Your information is also private and will not be shared or used in AI training. (Globally, I don’t share your information without informed consent anyway!)

My goal is to use technology responsibly while protecting your privacy and keeping the coaching relationship grounded in real human connection.

Coaching is fundamentally a relational process, and that kind of human conversation can’t be automated.